I don’t want to go back to Santa Cruz. Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m going to fail in school. I’ve lost a lot of the drive and inspiration that keeps me motivated to do well. I think of all the strong mujeres that have taught me so much about pain, journeys, and endurance. As much as I recognize that it took a village to get me to where I am I still can’t help but feel, well blah. I need to start getting my shit together too many people sacrificed a lot for me to just stop pushing forward. As my dad would say, le tengo que hechar ganas. Im going to read and watch a bunch of movies that will hopefully uplift me and make me inspired again. Overall I think I just need to cry. Why? I’m not sure, I feel like I’m suppressing something that’s made me unmotivated. Snap the phuck out of it.